Funny stuff from the Cynical Philosopher. Here's a few of them to keep you amused.
1. I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
2. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. I find it ironic that the colors red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
5. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body...men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
6. A recent study showed that the women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
7. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
8. America is a country which produced citizens who will cross the ocean to fight but won't cross the street to vote.
9. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
10. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand on the edge of the pool and throw them fish?
11. My therapist says I have a preoccupation about vengeance. We'll see about that!
12. I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's goggling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Anybody want to vote on favorite? It's harder to pick than you'd think....
Until next month. And don't forget my newest book in print, Guilty Secrets. It's at Amazon, Kobe, MuseItUp, Barnes and Noble. I'm ridiculously proud of this book!